Supporting a grieving friend comes with its challenges. People often struggle with what to say or what not to say. Providing physical and emotional support is more important than saying the right thing when supporting a grieving friend. There are still ways of supporting loved ones through words, and we are here to help you navigate the best ways to relay your message.
So, what do you say when everyone grieves differently, and no two people have the same journey? The key to saying the right thing is acknowledging the loss and offering support with sensitivity. For instance, “I’m sorry for your loss” lets your loved one know that you know and care about the loss of their loved one. This short but impactful phrase can open the door for further conversation if they are ready and willing.
Grief is never quite the same for any two people. We face the inability to comprehend exactly how our loved one feels, and it is best to admit that you will never fully understand their grief. One way to overcome this barrier is by taking on a supportive role in their experience. Simply letting your friend know you are there and prepared to offer a helping hand is a meaningful gesture.
If you knew the departed, you could share a story about them with your loved one. Grief and sadness are two different emotions. Unlike sadness, sharing grief as a collective makes it easier to weather. Sharing a favourite memory can help show your loved one they are not alone. It also shows your shared fondness and how the departed affected your life—if sharing your story online, exercising social media etiquette mediates the intricacies of sympathy on a public forum.
Knowing what not to say is crucial because words can easily send the wrong message, even when shared with the best intentions.
There is no exact formula for grief that isolates the individual experience. A way to escalate these feelings is to trivialise loss. For example, telling people to “be strong” or “hang in there” often reduces the grief to something they should overcome quickly. Additional phrases alluding to spirituality, such as “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re in a better place,” can leave a similar uneasy impression causing someone to feel overlooked in their lived experience.
Sometimes an act of kindness can provide support in a way that words cannot. For example, cooking a meal or donating to a cause are two thoughtful sympathy gift ideas. Remember, actions can often speak louder than words.
While taking on this supportive role, often experiences from your own experience with loss can make you the most suited or vulnerable when supporting someone grieving. Free resources on grief and the Osbornes Funeral Directors are here to help you along the way, no matter what stage of your journey.
